Creative, Dissent, Humanity, My Opinion, why

Claim for yourself

There is no human alive; past, present or future that has the authority to force another human out of their own control of self. Be that mind, body or spirit.

This is what makes all humanity equal.

The surrender of this fundamental and basic right as a person is so often taken and given. The struggle begins at birth and perpetuates to death.

The efforts to dismantle of each of us is a endless storm and those who can weather this are those that live. All who bow down and surrender never have a life of anything.

Claim for yourself in mind, body and spirit as yours and yours alone.

Dissent, Humanity, Trans

On a rant

I am queer and trans! No apologies!

If you are one to have issue with me, my existence or anyone else, why are you still reading?

I dissent from the ideas where what is benign is an attack on others or children. This is a blatant excuse to be a destructive and lazy parent. LGBTQ+ people holding hands is not a problem, nor is kissing. Your inability to teach your children is a problem. This over sheltering will only hurt you and them. Those people might think about getting their head out of wherever it is stuck. I wish them the best of luck.

But OK, they are sleeping and just calling it in, so it must all be a silly dream to them. Quite a shock when they join reality and actually wake up, get out of bed and be a part of the world.

So, wake up, wake up you sleepy head, get up, get outta bed, live, love, laugh and be happy! (yes, I did not follow the lyrics quite exactly)

Have a beautiful and fantastic day all you spectacular people who are here and part of the living world! Enjoy some sunshine with open eyes!

Creative, Dissent, Humanity, My Opinion, Written

In a mindset

Of a society enamored with Tweet size text bits and TikTok video clips I see something, or rather many somethings.

Be it attention span, the let’s just get to the point, in a rush to whatever – I find for myself that life is missing in the banter and arguments for or against whatever some point some try so desperately to make.

The addition, compulsion or fascination with this approach to sudo or false (as I see it) life will be here for the foreseeable future.

Dissent, Humanity, Written


I can pontificate, prophesize
or philosophize.
I may rant and rave,
or preach and protest.

Listen as you wish,
but blame and shame me,
critique and criticize
is not a role to assume.

Think for yourself,
and not
to rebuttal or refute
what others would expect
one to.

Out of gilt, fear,
conformity or
implied purpose.

Think for yourself
and not for
the eyes and mouths
of others.

Or have we forgotten
how to even
think for ourselves.
Dissent, Humanity, why

It seems to make sense

I saw a description today of why someone who was raised religious does not believe. Bear with me on this if you can. It boiled down to the way they saw religion as fear based. The what if you are wrong idea about religion. There was some mentions on love and family having some base in fear as well. This got me to thinking about how different aspects of our society and is there a fear component there.

To list a few founded or not have a significant component in fear. Job is one, death, health are all big parts and of course love and freedoms we may have. I then made a connection to American politics and what is deemed bad, wrong, etc. War on drugs is an example. If people are dealing or using they are already outside the law and direct control of parts of the government. If any group of people are farther from direct injection of fear, then there seems to be a major effort to eliminate them and paint those people as a threat and this creates fear in those that are already under the thumb of control of the fear machine.

The daily lives so many of us have with technology is a tool that can be used to push fear into a device in your purse, bag or pocket. Technology can peer into every aspect of anyone’s life whether they want it to or not. Suri, Alexa are obvious but if you have a credit card or debit card and especially a rewards card at a store you can be tracked and reported on and that information is bought and sold.

Then I had to ask myself, what about the assault on trans and non-binary or the LGBTQ+ community as a hole, are we under attack because the ease in which we can be controlled by fear has been reduced? Put fear back into us is a way to pull people back into the mix and gain control over a group. Maybe it is not LGBTQ+ but everyone else the screw is tightening down on in one aspect of an outcome?

Be another Kool-Aid drinker in a sense. Be religious, be afraid something bad might happen, do and be like everyone else and you have been brought under the umbrella of fear and this fear can easily be used to push and pull you where the creators of that want you to go.

Wreck-less in one thing but being fearful as a trained response is the making of Pavlov’s dog out of a population. The bell is a threat on any level that generates fear.

I am not religious as I refuse to take out an afterlife insurance policy, just in case it is not all BS. If it is BS as I see it, I would die regretting never living for anything much but a “what if?” If I am wrong, then so be it, but I am alive and I refuse to live any moment I can not doing so because of fear.

As many have heard the words or there about; “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”

Do a search or look through Who Said, ‘We Have Nothing to Fear Except Fear Itself’? to see that this phrase as is commonly associated with FDR is far older and longer in its history.

Again, in a sense, this phrase has been perverted and popularized out of the early connotations which were atheist in their tone and hue.

Those who remember Microsoft bashing of Linux very hard and heavy and the phrase often used in conjunction was FUD or fear, uncertainty and doubt. Make enough people have FUD about something and it will be pushed out to pasture to wither away.

It looks like the government and religious leaders along with the FUD tactics of corporations have been learning over time how to make and distribute FUD on new levels with more fire and brimstone each iteration they make.

So while those that are captive of FUD fight those who resist its control and corral the resistors to the slaughterhouse, it might be prudent for those Shepard’s to watch their back as they will be dragged to their end by the very means they drag others to theirs.

Now, I am not saying life and choice are not something that is free from danger. I could cross paths with just the wrong person and that will be the end. I knew this long before I came out but I came out to live not to be a puppet or minion of fear that leads only to regret.

I also see that anyone who would harm another, does so most often out of fear. This is not the spoken fear but of the ideals or beliefs they may attempt to uphold. That is fear, real fear, true fear. To buy in to an idea so deeply and firmly that if there is deviation even in other people that they will be punished is the most deep seeded fear that I can imagine. A fear so strong that one will take life to delay or appease the fear. Those people are the minions to watch out for, avoid and hope they can get out of the strings that are pulling them.

I can honestly say that when I grant fear less power my stress goes down, way down, my enjoyment grows and life is so amazing.

Wikipedia – FUD

When I decide and make a decision that is not based in the fear society educates us to have and go forward I am so often far better off. This also takes power away from others who push this intentionally or not. Why does guilt or making fun or jokes of others work to cause them to feel bad and might change their behavior for what they may be persecuted for, fear. If you ignore the assholes and bitches making one feel bad as they are asserting power you take away that power, influence and control by refusing to succumb to their desires.

The notion of dissent carries a negative connotation as it dismisses the idea that to be apart from the larger crowd in such a way is dangerous and risky and leads to fear.

Take back yourself from the grip you may be held under or is this the weapon of choice for you?

Humanity, My Opinion, Trans, why

If you think about it

In this world of Twitter size text and TikTok video clips if anything is not an entertaining or witty nibble then no attention is given. The quick immediate, boil it down to the smallest possible thing that only slightly resembles any discourse and this is where so much of what we see, hear or know about the world around us.

Conversation, even in-person is impacted. A quick text as concise as possible with as little words, effort and thought permeate how interactions occur in the human existence. We filter out all the beauty and wonder of humanity and just get to the minimum required to get on to the next whatever.

This attack on all of us is perpetuated by us all. The mindless minions of where we are as a species does not serve anyone beyond dealing with the crushing reality we find ourselves in. As a society of minions in denial we feel we are serving the good or just when the wolf in sheep’s clothing or the devil masquerading as an angel is so much closer to what is happening.

The busy schedule or the mountain of must do task corner people into this behavior. Then the immediate and temporary satisfaction or cessation to get to the next whatever it may be only puts a Band-Aid on the issues. While so many are bleeding out just to exist we keep slapping on another quick fix like a finger in a collapsing damn it is quite pointless, but at least we are trying or doing something, right?

No, we are not doing anything really, just meeting the minimum to feel like we can justify and claim that something is there, doing, being done. These are lies many tell themselves and thus believe. It’s OK, not a big deal, or any other way to deny what is all around us. Empty words to reduce the bad or uncomfortable and even worse point somewhere or to someone else with the accusations and blame.

Taking responsibility for much of anything has been taught, conditioned and beaten to be part of our lives and minds. If one can use a tactic to transfer a mistake elsewhere, we will most often do so.

Attacks in the name of save the children or they are bad people for whatever reason is finger-pointing to defer, deny, transfer blame and attention to others and hides what the accuser’s are afraid of, admitting any error, mistake or wrong.

When Trans and Non-Binary people are legislated out of existence where will those fingers aim? The accusations must continue by those in positions to make them and it is a vicious pattern. Once there is enough buy-in for their hate that the target is eliminated they must point the weapons at a new target.

Transgender and Non-Binary are a primary target today but you will be a target, maybe not next but soon. So keep turning away or denying and believing you own lies to make today easier. Make today as easy and pain-free as you can possibly do so as tomorrow will be a whole new hell when you are the one taking their fire.

My Opinion, NotMeButYou, Photgraphy, San Francisco

So, so you think…

As I read an email from someone I find is keen with their use of words not long after waking up and began to contemplate my day a few things have crossed my mind as I enjoy my coffee. Perhaps some tea a bit later, time will tell.

I am walking through recent memories I created a few days ago when I walked to the beach to take in whatever I may encounter. The image in this post is one of the results of my trip out in the damp and cool morning.

As those experiences develop and blend within the grow and context and connections are forming. I see the world around me and place all the empirical input with my thoughts, feelings, opinions and beliefs. As so often is the case, my pondering where I am and how do I best move forward. Then, then I turn to what is not within me and look at society through my lens and filters.

To make this shorter for you and less laborious, I have the lyrics from a song. You might have heard this one, likely numerous times. Here is the verse of that song:

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

Pink Floyd – “Wish You Were Here”

As much as I have been though and continue to I hope I am not, nor will not trade myself simply to have some, however fleeting and meaningless, easier time by being just like ‘they’ want me to be and like everyone else.

Creative, My Opinion, Written

Lies and secrets

It was not easy for me to have any understanding. A greater effort was needed to have an acceptance of what I want to express here. An idea that permeated so much of my life could be described as this. And still, it was and still is to some extent or another. As the title reads: Lies and secrets.

The hardest thing it would make sense to think is what I know, feel, think, believe and so on are based on something unknown or not understood. In one way or another the almost blind acceptance that I was there, I saw with my eyes, heard, felt, tasted, others did as well or whatever the case may be so that it must be, it is immutable as truth. This make so much sense and then when I look at life and the world around me, make connections and comparisons or see contrast it raises questions. One of those is the lies and secrets people have from even themselves. It may sound like a stretch to have this happen or to do this but think about it if you can. This is a defense mechanism for trauma or other destructive experiences one may have in life. An act of self preservation if you chose to look at it this way.

Then there is reality. Reality is not a whole and shared thing. Ones experiences in every form from observations to thoughts and feelings filter and augment every aspect of how we even take in our environment and as this passed through our own very unique collection of reality altering filters we do not even take in to begin with what is the base or source reality.

One needs a degree of trust in self no doubt, but a complete disregard for the shift in what is and what we see as reality is in itself a lie. In maintaining that lie hides those secrets we cannot even face within our-self.

Coming to terms with this is not a quick or easy process. It takes much effort and time that can not easily be quantified. The end is also fuzzy. The journey to where one might go with these thoughts is once again, in my view where to be and cherish, enjoy and learn from. This is no small ask to pose in my mind and I keep asking anyway. Easy is not a destination. The path being worth it is where I find joy. The struggle on the way, the small victories are the reward. arriving at a destination tells me I need to find somewhere to go next. If I stop and claim contentment, saying I am done then I may as well have died. When I stop growing, learning I see this as the end of living.

I will never catch every lie or know all the secrets I hold from myself, that is not my desire. My goal is to keep living, learning and growing so I am more than a just body with a heartbeat. My heart should beat with more, far more than simply a physical biological action.

Just like cleaning or making the bed, it will get dirty again or you will turn down the covers to sleep, they will need to be done again. I will never get to a place that the mental cobwebs are never to return. I will also carry some amount of emotional baggage. I can attempt to be prepared to clean and carry these, or anticipate and expect this simply is and move on to my next mistake I might transform into something better than I ever saw it before.

As I was searching through photos for an image I took an unknown number of months ago I located a video clip of what I photographed and changed my direction. The featured image is from the video edit.

And here is the 5 second video I tossed together, because I wanted to.

Creative, My Opinion, Written

Hiding in plain sight and I missed it

Fear. This one word says so much.

As I attempt to translate my thoughts into words this morning, the word fear is close the the core of those. I grew up in a place and in a family that taught and acted that if something can go wrong in some way, stay away or don’t do, avoid, etc. In one form or another this fear has separated me from so much. Add in my dad and I get a run away from anything that could possibly not turn out well childhood on.

I am not one to regret. I am not making a statement as such. Everything I have been exposed to, thought, felt or otherwise brings me to this very moment. It took all of the fear as part of this to help me to today.

In society we are sold fear in a relentless flashing neon billboard screen that is forcing us to pay attention to their marketing. be that your phone, TV, computer, The image or logo on that person’s clothes over there. It is nearly inescapable. The propaganda and mouth of the fear machine is often dressed in kindness or being helpful. The need to cover-up fear can look like just about anything. Instant gratification or greed, power, or the one that is easy for me to spot is this ‘whatever’ will make this or that easier, faster, etc. These are often as I see a band-aid to cover up fear.

Fear is the great motivator as I have heard it said. I remember when Steve Ballmer of Microsoft was claiming Linux is a cancer and the response from the open-source community was FUD. Ballmer was spreading fear, uncertainty and doubt. This sales tactic is directly related to what I am trying to communicate.

In the end I do not know. In the context of this, why be afraid if there is no reason to be. Sure, I am not pleased when bad or painful things happen but it takes mistakes, pain and all the disappointment and the list could go on and on, but these are not pleasant as it takes a negative reaction to have any opportunity or hope for real, true growth. Lucky is one thing. Being given what one desires is another. Growth does not just happen as it takes more than just work. A painful event and reflection leading to insight and knowledge are one path to growth.

As I ask myself today, why have I been governed by fear the past many weeks? I see in this moment that being afraid of something that is probably not going to happen or even if it is a low chance to, why am I running away from all those mistakes that make success if I just get through the tough part, take the effort to learn and then use new experiences to grow?

I am not suggesting wreck less or blatant behavior here. I am telling myself to allow more mistakes or to accept I may sustain some form of injury be that emotional or otherwise.

No stepping in front of buses or looking down the barrel of a gun but fall down, get up and keep going towards growth. I bet I will meet happiness in many forms along the way.

My Opinion, Written


There is a fine line between a conversation that is constructive and one that is not. I think this often is delineated by intent. Another sketchy area is labels. For me gender and orientation come to mind as a topic where labels are often just too much to drag into things.

For intent, what all involved bring to the conversation and any existing history amongst them is a factor that can set a tone for judgement as a pretext. If this weighing of others is a heavy part, then I would rather have no part myself.

I needed labels in a lot of ways but as a way to bring comprehension from communication I no longer see this as a proper method to get there. After mixing with judgement I tend to get a nasty concoction as a result.

I have found I give the ‘it depends’ or a overly broad set of words to most questions at the start. For example; if I am asked by someone I am not close with or in a group and I just want to be with people not debate about where or what to eat I have answered ‘I prefer food from the northern hemisphere general;y.’

It depends is more often than i acknowledge the only reasonable answer that is correct or accurate enough when you have two or more people. Throw in time and a response will hopefully change and evolve as we experience and learn. With the complexity some have in their mood as subtle as it may appear something so fundamental as what to eat gets stupidly complex, rapidly.

Labels have a place I know. Terms aid in communication and when other aspects that seem so predominant are added in it just gets messy.

I am human just as I hope we all are. I do not nor have any desire to get it all right and exhaust a thought I may communicate into every permutation of each minutia. I personally enjoy and respect a dose of enigma and personal perspective and interpretation. I like to have this in art be it as an observer or creator.

I hope I am not as alone as it would feel to want and need difference around me, it helps me learn, grow and understand. It is a way to make mistakes that circle back into learning and becoming a better person. This all comes crashing down when intent and judgement convert a conversation into a debate and pushes to have a right and wrong outcome. It is predisposed to end in a less useful result.

Be free and let others be free but stop and walk away before any harm is done.