Category Archives: My Opinion

Art, Dissent, Humanity, My Opinion, Trans, transgender, why

A Dragon

Anyone who attacks the lives of others is just a small heart, small mind and no soul worth redemption. A convoluted pile of fear coated in a Napoleon complex bathed in narcissism. The fear is buried and distorted by hate that attacks the very fabric of what those people claim.

Attacks on Transgender people Non-binary, Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, Intersex, Queer plus, plus plus. The long standing history of Black suppression. Asian discrimination against the mere presence of of people not nearly enough effort has been given to understand. This is pitiful and holds no valid excuse or reason of good, noble or even human.

We let these attacks hurt us when we the marginalized can see these for what they are and laugh in the face as they show what they really stand for; money, power, control and to wear a costume to look good for others while their attacks reveal the wolf in sheep’s clothing. The devil in disguise. The pointing out of a red herring. These distract others and themselves from the the inadequacies they bear the weight of.

As a trans woman I have to face my daemons every moment I am. I must think anyone part of a community under attack is pushed to do the same.

Our aggressors are too weak to do the same and make us their targets rather than face what is too much for them, their own daemons. The emotional baggage they carry is too much so they feel they need to distract themselves and others from noticing they are the ones with the issues to be resolved. Too weak to work on themselves, they must attack others.

I do not wish evil upon them unlike what we the oppressed receive. I do not ask for a formal or public apology for their atrocities. I hope they find a way to reconcile what deeply troubles them and find peace in a world of diversity and change.

Calm down, relax and take a deep lifelong breath of unity and peace.

I am not here to throw stones but beg for a better tomorrow for everyone, everywhere regardless of demographic, culture or difference. Communicate and strive for understanding over winning or being right and not wrong. Cooperate and not to demand. Pursue understanding and hold back judgement.

The idea of a dragon changes and one way this is in culture. The symbolism of a dragon is a protecting mother much as a bear will defend her young. The dragon mentors, protects and nurtures and when she must draw on her wisdom and strength, defend against the aggressors.

Let us keep the nurture and caring mother dragons doing just that and end the need to defend as aggressors are nowhere.

The noble and just will let the past be and work tirelessly to forge a new beginning on solid ground with a clean slate.

Can we open the door, negotiate, even if informally, to begin again and vow to an eternal ceasefire for the prosperity of humanity.

My blog is titled Empress Em and this can illicit notions I am aware. The thoughts of a ruler or any standing above is not who I am or what I stand for. I am a peasant Empress of a life full of struggle and not one of privilege or power. I rule only my own choices and mind, no one else.

I also dilute the ideas of Queens, kings, Empress and Emperor to President, Chairman, dictator and the entire list possible to make here. These should not be titles on authority but strive to be Buddha or flow as the Taoist.

If we are to kill anyone we should do so not in hate, desire, power, greed or otherwise but in the warmth and comfort of compassion and kindness.

Forgive and move forward without combat. We are not gods and as such we are fallible and have no authority in the judgement of others. This goes both ways and in every direction.

Can we stop hurting others and can we stop denying ourselves?

Time to let the lie of the red herring no longer be a scapegoat.

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Dissent, Humanity, My Opinion, why

In absolution

In a world where ‘things’ can be classified in an absolute way of this or that to the extent of zero compromise what is lost is comprehension of so very much. Yes, there is a time and place for the true / false, yes / no or equivalent measurement. The bar or line has been moved to include the immeasurable in the realm of only 2 choices arena.

When belief and opinion are defines immutable fact we as people have taken on a new era of complacency. Lost is any acceptance of what could be or the unknown. This has been replaced with an iron clad position. This smells so nefarious it seems to be killing the ability of the general public to smell anything.

I want to type wake up and smell the roses & I did. I also know there is a group who has some kind of, what appears to be irrational fear of a word in there. While I do not know even a remote fraction of everything I will admit this make little sense to me. What id wrong with being awake? I don’t want to live life sleepwalking through to the end. Again, I guess I just don’t get what is going on there.

Sounds limiting to me, 2 choices and that is all one gets or you can this or that and any other variation is off limits. This is a mental and emotional prison. I don’t want to live life in that or any other prison cell, why would I make a decision to do so if I did not have to?

Then there is more and more, then even more single choice, which is the absence of a choice appearing all the time.

I am struggling to understand this world with an attitude of ‘my way or the highway’ and with an ever increasing rate of occurrence ‘my way or die’ which makes me so confused and concerned with just how did we come to this.

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Creative, Dissent, Humanity, My Opinion, why

Claim for yourself

There is no human alive; past, present or future that has the authority to force another human out of their own control of self. Be that mind, body or spirit.

This is what makes all humanity equal.

The surrender of this fundamental and basic right as a person is so often taken and given. The struggle begins at birth and perpetuates to death.

The efforts to dismantle of each of us is a endless storm and those who can weather this are those that live. All who bow down and surrender never have a life of anything.

Claim for yourself in mind, body and spirit as yours and yours alone.

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Creative, Dissent, Humanity, My Opinion, Written

In a mindset

Of a society enamored with Tweet size text bits and TikTok video clips I see something, or rather many somethings.

Be it attention span, the let’s just get to the point, in a rush to whatever – I find for myself that life is missing in the banter and arguments for or against whatever some point some try so desperately to make.

The addition, compulsion or fascination with this approach to sudo or false (as I see it) life will be here for the foreseeable future.

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Humanity, My Opinion, Trans, why

If you think about it

In this world of Twitter size text and TikTok video clips if anything is not an entertaining or witty nibble then no attention is given. The quick immediate, boil it down to the smallest possible thing that only slightly resembles any discourse and this is where so much of what we see, hear or know about the world around us.

Conversation, even in-person is impacted. A quick text as concise as possible with as little words, effort and thought permeate how interactions occur in the human existence. We filter out all the beauty and wonder of humanity and just get to the minimum required to get on to the next whatever.

This attack on all of us is perpetuated by us all. The mindless minions of where we are as a species does not serve anyone beyond dealing with the crushing reality we find ourselves in. As a society of minions in denial we feel we are serving the good or just when the wolf in sheep’s clothing or the devil masquerading as an angel is so much closer to what is happening.

The busy schedule or the mountain of must do task corner people into this behavior. Then the immediate and temporary satisfaction or cessation to get to the next whatever it may be only puts a Band-Aid on the issues. While so many are bleeding out just to exist we keep slapping on another quick fix like a finger in a collapsing damn it is quite pointless, but at least we are trying or doing something, right?

No, we are not doing anything really, just meeting the minimum to feel like we can justify and claim that something is there, doing, being done. These are lies many tell themselves and thus believe. It’s OK, not a big deal, or any other way to deny what is all around us. Empty words to reduce the bad or uncomfortable and even worse point somewhere or to someone else with the accusations and blame.

Taking responsibility for much of anything has been taught, conditioned and beaten to be part of our lives and minds. If one can use a tactic to transfer a mistake elsewhere, we will most often do so.

Attacks in the name of save the children or they are bad people for whatever reason is finger-pointing to defer, deny, transfer blame and attention to others and hides what the accuser’s are afraid of, admitting any error, mistake or wrong.

When Trans and Non-Binary people are legislated out of existence where will those fingers aim? The accusations must continue by those in positions to make them and it is a vicious pattern. Once there is enough buy-in for their hate that the target is eliminated they must point the weapons at a new target.

Transgender and Non-Binary are a primary target today but you will be a target, maybe not next but soon. So keep turning away or denying and believing you own lies to make today easier. Make today as easy and pain-free as you can possibly do so as tomorrow will be a whole new hell when you are the one taking their fire.

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Creative, My Opinion, Photgraphy, San Francisco, Written

Riding around

Recently I was asked by a friend if I wanted to ride around on the way to pick up her daughter a little later. I texted back “I can put clothes on, what time?” I was wearing PJ’s contemplating how I could get sleep as I have deprived myself for far too long of this simple and essential part of living. With her response as it was I pulled off my pajamas and tossed on clothes. My smaller camera bag was already packed minus a camera. Into the bag went a camera and as I stepped out my door texted I was ready.

As we pulled away she asked a question that prompted me to tell a story about moments in my life and off my mouth went as my camera emerged and the shutter sounded with the lens looking out the window. We wound through the park, Golden Gate Park for non San Francisco residents. It was glorious to see people out doing what they do. Bike riders, walkers, joggers and everything else. As we wound through the Presidio I just kept chatting away with each ask on what I had been rambling on about.

I am always surprised when anyone comments on my incessant chatter that I am a good storyteller and have had interesting experiences. I take this as a complement and yet, I am just me, another person and human, what makes a good story about me and what I have gone through? As I think through this today I find inspiration.

My thought have turned to sharing some of these stories. How about a memoir style journal series of some snippet or moment as I recount the events that some find they like to hear. I like to write and I hope I can incorporate media of multiple types; photos, audio, mixed media of the digital and physical form.

This comes to mind, aside from the lyrics gender reference that is obvious to anyone who has the wrong pronouns lobbed like grenades in their direction is often more attune to, good match lyrically, kinda, but only knda.

I am flipping through the card catalogue of some of the vocal reenactments searching for one to recount here as a start. I think I will let you know when I find one I want to step out with. OK?

In the mean-time, photos for your eyes (and audio above, I bet you noticed that though), I do hope I might entertain you while I try not to get a paper-cut searching for a memory to tell.

Just why does this seem appealing to me? I ask this question to myself my description begins with the duh, obvious response: Maybe someone will like it, then quickly moves on to more meaningful things. As the story teller it could help me and may have the same effect on someone who takes this in. Yep, that is a big broad statement and says next to nothing I know. In sharing these stories there might be those who relate or see something in themselves just slightly different than before to nudge a part of them in the direction of whatever it is that it does, better be a good nudge though. Least of which is to entertain, but this is just a symptom or side effect. not a goal. Then there is those who might be challenged and to those the phrase “Art is to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.”

When I start compiling these I will tag them with #memoir and whatever title is settle on.

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My Opinion, Tech, Trans

They wouldn’t listen anyway, so…

If there is a group of people that someone has negativity about, why would they listen to them? If a person thinks of says, why, I don’t understand, who would and so on into oblivion, why would they even list to any of ‘those people’?

As a trans person anyone anti-trans would most likely not give me the time of day. Rather, it would be insults, criticism or attempts to word me into being wrong. Why would I listen to them? If there is an inkling of intelligence I might but that is rare to find. Excuses and claims on their position and fighting for every inch or even as much as a single mm to be and maintain they are right is what happens far too often.

What about the homeless or anyone seen as less than or have made mistakes or suffered from a choice of others or themselves.

I could rant for days, but this is quite pointless beyond raising my own blood-pressure so I will not.

I will say that this is an systemic issue in the way we experience society as I see it. Those attitudes are perpetuated by the sales and marketing propaganda, invasive technology and generations of persecuting the have not’s for the benefit of those who do. The ability to freely think is under assault, as is personal choice in the name of ideas that are baseless in their claims. The way I see it, these enable those with power and money to not just hold on but gain and grow.

When anyone aims at a person for who they are, the situation they are in for one reason or many they are adding to the control and wealth of those they are minions of, the ultra rich and powerful are the masters they often unknowingly serve. The best minions are the ones who do not see themselves as such.

Are you a minion? If you even could possibly be, would you change that?

I went to the Netflix Walkout in LA the WikipediA entry has more details. As a trans person I went to peacefully support other trans people. I took the photo in this post there. I do not want or need to boast about this. I do need to say the most important reason I was there, to support people who needed support – period!

I was at many BLM protests after the killing of George Floyd. I am not a member of the black community but I did and do want to support people that need support. Being part of or not of a group does not make anyone important, irrelevant, right or wrong.

Speaking, acting as one knows so much better than those of a group and that group is less or wrong, etc. is a red herring and is pointing a finger in shame to the ones who ARE better. A diversion tactic that is far more effective that it ever should be. If one puts down others, what makes them a god and all knowing? Just stop please and be human, help someone or just move on in silence.

Protest for people to have better to be better or just sit down and be quiet.

A few more photos from the walkout:

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My Opinion, NotMeButYou, Photgraphy, San Francisco

So, so you think…

As I read an email from someone I find is keen with their use of words not long after waking up and began to contemplate my day a few things have crossed my mind as I enjoy my coffee. Perhaps some tea a bit later, time will tell.

I am walking through recent memories I created a few days ago when I walked to the beach to take in whatever I may encounter. The image in this post is one of the results of my trip out in the damp and cool morning.

As those experiences develop and blend within the grow and context and connections are forming. I see the world around me and place all the empirical input with my thoughts, feelings, opinions and beliefs. As so often is the case, my pondering where I am and how do I best move forward. Then, then I turn to what is not within me and look at society through my lens and filters.

To make this shorter for you and less laborious, I have the lyrics from a song. You might have heard this one, likely numerous times. Here is the verse of that song:

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

Pink Floyd – “Wish You Were Here”

As much as I have been though and continue to I hope I am not, nor will not trade myself simply to have some, however fleeting and meaningless, easier time by being just like ‘they’ want me to be and like everyone else.

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Creative, My Opinion, Written

Lies and secrets

It was not easy for me to have any understanding. A greater effort was needed to have an acceptance of what I want to express here. An idea that permeated so much of my life could be described as this. And still, it was and still is to some extent or another. As the title reads: Lies and secrets.

The hardest thing it would make sense to think is what I know, feel, think, believe and so on are based on something unknown or not understood. In one way or another the almost blind acceptance that I was there, I saw with my eyes, heard, felt, tasted, others did as well or whatever the case may be so that it must be, it is immutable as truth. This make so much sense and then when I look at life and the world around me, make connections and comparisons or see contrast it raises questions. One of those is the lies and secrets people have from even themselves. It may sound like a stretch to have this happen or to do this but think about it if you can. This is a defense mechanism for trauma or other destructive experiences one may have in life. An act of self preservation if you chose to look at it this way.

Then there is reality. Reality is not a whole and shared thing. Ones experiences in every form from observations to thoughts and feelings filter and augment every aspect of how we even take in our environment and as this passed through our own very unique collection of reality altering filters we do not even take in to begin with what is the base or source reality.

One needs a degree of trust in self no doubt, but a complete disregard for the shift in what is and what we see as reality is in itself a lie. In maintaining that lie hides those secrets we cannot even face within our-self.

Coming to terms with this is not a quick or easy process. It takes much effort and time that can not easily be quantified. The end is also fuzzy. The journey to where one might go with these thoughts is once again, in my view where to be and cherish, enjoy and learn from. This is no small ask to pose in my mind and I keep asking anyway. Easy is not a destination. The path being worth it is where I find joy. The struggle on the way, the small victories are the reward. arriving at a destination tells me I need to find somewhere to go next. If I stop and claim contentment, saying I am done then I may as well have died. When I stop growing, learning I see this as the end of living.

I will never catch every lie or know all the secrets I hold from myself, that is not my desire. My goal is to keep living, learning and growing so I am more than a just body with a heartbeat. My heart should beat with more, far more than simply a physical biological action.

Just like cleaning or making the bed, it will get dirty again or you will turn down the covers to sleep, they will need to be done again. I will never get to a place that the mental cobwebs are never to return. I will also carry some amount of emotional baggage. I can attempt to be prepared to clean and carry these, or anticipate and expect this simply is and move on to my next mistake I might transform into something better than I ever saw it before.

As I was searching through photos for an image I took an unknown number of months ago I located a video clip of what I photographed and changed my direction. The featured image is from the video edit.

And here is the 5 second video I tossed together, because I wanted to.

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Creative, My Opinion, Written

Hiding in plain sight and I missed it

Fear. This one word says so much.

As I attempt to translate my thoughts into words this morning, the word fear is close the the core of those. I grew up in a place and in a family that taught and acted that if something can go wrong in some way, stay away or don’t do, avoid, etc. In one form or another this fear has separated me from so much. Add in my dad and I get a run away from anything that could possibly not turn out well childhood on.

I am not one to regret. I am not making a statement as such. Everything I have been exposed to, thought, felt or otherwise brings me to this very moment. It took all of the fear as part of this to help me to today.

In society we are sold fear in a relentless flashing neon billboard screen that is forcing us to pay attention to their marketing. be that your phone, TV, computer, The image or logo on that person’s clothes over there. It is nearly inescapable. The propaganda and mouth of the fear machine is often dressed in kindness or being helpful. The need to cover-up fear can look like just about anything. Instant gratification or greed, power, or the one that is easy for me to spot is this ‘whatever’ will make this or that easier, faster, etc. These are often as I see a band-aid to cover up fear.

Fear is the great motivator as I have heard it said. I remember when Steve Ballmer of Microsoft was claiming Linux is a cancer and the response from the open-source community was FUD. Ballmer was spreading fear, uncertainty and doubt. This sales tactic is directly related to what I am trying to communicate.

In the end I do not know. In the context of this, why be afraid if there is no reason to be. Sure, I am not pleased when bad or painful things happen but it takes mistakes, pain and all the disappointment and the list could go on and on, but these are not pleasant as it takes a negative reaction to have any opportunity or hope for real, true growth. Lucky is one thing. Being given what one desires is another. Growth does not just happen as it takes more than just work. A painful event and reflection leading to insight and knowledge are one path to growth.

As I ask myself today, why have I been governed by fear the past many weeks? I see in this moment that being afraid of something that is probably not going to happen or even if it is a low chance to, why am I running away from all those mistakes that make success if I just get through the tough part, take the effort to learn and then use new experiences to grow?

I am not suggesting wreck less or blatant behavior here. I am telling myself to allow more mistakes or to accept I may sustain some form of injury be that emotional or otherwise.

No stepping in front of buses or looking down the barrel of a gun but fall down, get up and keep going towards growth. I bet I will meet happiness in many forms along the way.

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