Humanity, Written

A message notification

As I sit here thinking about life and this and that a message came from someone I may never see again that in an odd way gave me a touch of hope. As a trans person there are so many mountains that must be climbed and at times hope feel distant. It is these small seemingly random gestures that shine a light on the notion that hope is out there.

Let me backup a bit. I am experiencing several challenges that are not small in life. Financial issues is an easy one to communicate as many people understand this. Being cut off from family and friends for geographic, political or religious reasons are on the list. Circumstance be what they are.

And I will change paths further. How about I talk about sex and relationships? I have not thought of myself as poly-amorous or being part of a polycule until recently when I was wondering through my thoughts and decided to give this some thought beyond just the surface. It was a fast turn around in my mind to go from the thought that this is probably not for me to OMG! I never thought of this in such a way!

Lemme explain a bit. I can be moody in ways where as a Bisexual / Pansexual / Omisexual person I can be on a shifting path here. One issue I have made efforts to keep to myself in past relationships is these changes in me that do circle around but are not constant on the sexual side. I will go through a period where I am more attracted to on aspect of a persons gender then less for the same. The thought of a polycule of each person’s major gender expressions are represented then there could be the continuance of romance and a sexual relationship if all involved are on a circular or spiral path in a compatible manner.

Back to the message at the beginning of this. I was sad about a few of my family I wold want to go see if I could when the notification informed me I had a new text to look at.

It was from someone I do not know well but met a few times. They live in another place and their work may not bring them to a place for me to see them again, maybe ever. But it was nice to read. A few short exchanges later and I began a back and forth, up and down between what is in my life and all this and that. Then sat back down to write this.

Where an I headed here? I have yet to figure that one out but I started sad and have alleviated most of that now.

Now, if I could just get a hug that I could really use about now and if there is someone to hold as I could calm my mind to match this tired body and slip into a cozy comfort, then to sleep.